I Still Want To Be Wrong

I pleaded with the Lord to tell me, show me, that I am wrong about this. I don’t want to be right about this. God help me, I don’t want to be right.  Please, PLEASE tell me I am WRONG about this.
Every sign points towards, I am not wrong.
And that is utterly DEVASTATING to me.
I gave up EVERYTHING.
Everything that I was, everything that I had, everything that I had ever known.
“Get a hobby.”
“Find some joy for Carol.”
NONE of that is going to change the facts, if they are true.
And it looks like they are.
Everything is pointing towards me being right.
And I don’t want to be right.
I don’t want to be right about this.
Because if I am, that means everything is a lie.
Nothing of the history is true.
It is a farce.
I was told that a few years ago.
By the very person I so want to be wrong about.
That statement broke my heart.
But what is breaking my heart now is that, you may have been right.
But not for the reasons you think.
When I tell the story now, it doesn’t have the same feeling.
It was always special. It was always romantic. It was always meant to be.
Now, it’s just a pretty little story.
It doesn’t feel the same anymore.
If that’s true – what do I do now?
“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”
I cannot imagine in my wildest dreams that THIS was part of Your plan for me.
Why?  Why would this be part of  the plan?
I just broke down in heaving sobs in private.
Because I don’t…want…to be RIGHT about this!!!!
Please, please, please – tell me I am WRONG.
Because if I’m not, I need to know what my next steps need to be.
I need You to tell me what to do.
Please.