A year ago tonight, the world was getting ready for a brand new year and hoping for all the usual stuff we hope for every year.
Little did we know what was coming.
A lot of thoughts come to my mind when I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night. Recently one of those thoughts was, “We should have known. We all should have known.”
What I’m talking about now is New Orleans specific. When those two people got run over by Mardi Gras floats, we should have known. I mean absolutely no disrespect to those unfortunate individuals. But I thought, “We should have known.” It was like a portent of things to come.
I had a great birthday this year. I was hoping for an even better 60th birthday celebration in 2021. Maybe that can and will still happen. Unfortunately, I’m not counting on that or anything else.
I’m not making any New Year’s resolutions. I’m not claiming 2021 as “my year”. So the clock is going to strike midnight tonight, and nothing is going to magically change.
It never does.
Yes, every new year is the start of something new, a chance to begin again. Every single day is that. I am glad to say goodbye to the number 2020, and the year. See ya. Adios Muchacha. Get the fuck out of here. So long, farewell, auf wiedersen, GOODBYE. And don’t…come…back.
But when that clock strikes midnight, wherever you are – guess what? All the terrible things that happened in 2020 are still going to be a reality. All the nastiness that took place will most likely continue on. All the restrictions will probably still be there. For a very long time to come, I fear. And I’m tired.
I’m just…tired…
But I am continuing to take just one day at a time. And hold on to the only thing any of us have got.
HOPE.
Some of us have handled this past year better than others. I just want NORMAL. And normal to me is being able to walk out my front door and not have to worry about whether I have a mask in my pocket or purse. I want to be able to walk into any establishment I want without a mask on. Sorry, but I am sick to death of the mask wearing. Call me what you want, I don’t care. I want to be able to sit at the bar again and have a drink. I want to be able to hug people. I want to see my mother.
Those are my wishes for the new year. That is what I want.
I’m not saying Happy New Year. I refuse to say it. I’m saying Happy New Day. Because that’s all it is. Just another day. One at a time. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other.
Go ahead. Say something clever. Say something like “stop whining”. About wearing a mask. About social distancing. About everything. Go ahead. Call it what you want. I’m done.
I thankfully did not lose a loved one this past year due to covid. I did lose a job. By nothing but the grace and mercy of God are my family and I surviving. We have everything we need. Each other. And our health.
Losing a loved one is by no stretch of the imagination the same as losing a job. We are all in the same storm, but we are not all in the same boat.
EVERYBODY’S hurting.
Hope is what I’m holding on to. I want normal back. If you’ve read any part of this blog in recent months, you’ve seen this theme repeated. This is my venting place. My safe place. Where I can say whatever I want. Where I can get things out of my system, and then go back to the day to day.
Even though I’m venting, I really AM trying to be positive. I’m trying to hold on to the hope that things ARE going to get better, little by little. This too shall pass, is what my mother always says. And speaking of my mother, a very Happy 88th Birthday to her today! She’s pissed too – but she’s a survivor.
I can learn a lot from her…
Happy New Day! We never have to say 2020 ever again. And isn’t that just one of the best things ever?
Oddly Enough 